I close my eyes
Only for a moment, then the momen't gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind
All they are is dust in the wind Same old song
Just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do
Crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind, ohh Now, don't hang on
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away
And all your money won't another minute buy
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind Dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind
Everything is dust in the wind
The wind

I'm sorry to tell you this kiddies but Santa won't be coming this year, you see his calm demeanour, beard and unmarked sack has garnered attention from the intelligence agencies who are bored of spying on activists. Santa was caught with plans to place packages in each and every home, lists of children's names and targets were also found at the location.

After his capture by the CIA Santa was rendered through the UK, and taken to a hidden prison somewhere in the Arctic Circle, photographs later emerge of abuses carried out by Santa's Reindeer guard, after years of persecution the Reindeer could finally relieve some stress, the Elves however, were in the wrong place at the wrong time and are constantly targeted by Reindeer death squads.

Since his capture Santa loyalists have donned the famous costume and instigated a Santa insurgency, cells all over the world have been activated having the knock on effect of disturbing elections in Lapland. The elections have the puppet government trailing in third place, under the suspicion of voter fraud the preliminary results are dividing the country along ethnic lines, the Elves appear to have the dominant vote closely followed by the Reindeer, ex-Santa loyalists and religious fundamentalists.

(Inspired by - Blindfolded Santa hung from tree, to Sir Bob and Bono - IMF set to shun debt relief for six)

Mrs Bush says gang tattoos hinder job prospects, she also said "We know that people who do avoid drugs and alcohol are more likely to be able to get a job".

Small reminder - George Jr sent out of Texas by father as a 'drunken liability' and Bush 'took cocaine at Camp David' and wife Laura liked dope, says book, see also Bush Jr.'s Skeleton Closet.

Pill 'jab' could spark sex disease boom - Hasn't this argument already been made when the pill first introduced 45 odd years ago? Britain already has the highest teen pregnancy rate in Europe, the kids are already fucking, and the prospect of children isn't acting as a contraceptive or abstinence method.

Bill Hicks on children - "And just in case you haven't seen the single mom statistics lately, the miracle is spreading like wild-fire. "Hallelujah!" Trailer parks and council flats all over the world just filling up with little miracles. Thunk, thunk, thunk, like frogs laying eggs."

Coffee with God on the side, Starbucks has decided to put a religious quote onto its coffee cups, it will read - "You are not an accident. Your parents may not have planned you, but God did. He wanted you alive and created you for a purpose. Focusing on yourself will never reveal your real purpose. You were made by God and for God, and until you understand that, life will never make sense. Only in God do we discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significance and our destiny."

Winston and the Whiner

Having seen Winston Churchill win the 'Greatest Briton' vote, I know he won the war but he was not all that great. One read of 'Taking Churchill at his Words' you soon realise that he was a racist and a Nazi sympathiser (if Hitler won the war he would have been greatest Briton). People I know voted for Shakespeare but for the TV dominated generation no film has been made of his work for a while, well not one of note anyway there was 'O' in 2001.